A Dirty Little Secret: Anabolic Steroids

Going to the Dark Side

So after months of toiling under Big Steve’s guidance, I had made great progress. I was happy but I couldn’t help but recognize that I was losing ground to him daily. I used him as my barometer, and when I worked hard and made gains, he made better gains. I was beyond frustrated. Steve was training no harder than I was but he was way bigger and stronger. One day I said something to Dave, one of our training partners and he said “Steve hasn’t told you about the juice?” I was thinking what juice? orange juice, grape juice, or maybe apple? Dave laughed and said “you need to go see the weight gain doc!” I questioned him further and he gave me a card to Doctor Tizzo, a local “weight gain” specialist. So, I went to the Dr. Tizzo on the other side of town from me. I remember sitting in the waiting room and looking at all the other guys who were pretty big. I was thinking “why in hell are these guys here, they look big enough!” So I got called back into the room and waited nervously. What was this guy going to do? I was about to be introduced to the world of anabolic steroids.

Poke Poke, Anabolic Steroids, and Grow Time

Doctor Tizzo came into the room and asked me a few questions. He then told me to drop my pants and turn around. My suspicions were certainly heightened at this point.  I had all kinds of horrible thoughts like from scenes in Deliverance! “Squeal like a pig boy!” came to mind. All kidding aside, I got a shot in my butt cheek and he handed me 60 little blue pills. He said take one when you wake up and take one before you go to bed. I still didn’t really know just happened. I didn’t know what the shot was or the pills. I somehow felt different though. I am sure it was all in my head but all the same, I knew things were going to change. Over the next month, I literally went up 16 pounds. I was 220 pounds and my bench was up to 405 pounds, a full 40 pounds in 30 days. My arms were now 18″ at 18 years of age. My chest grew to 50″, my legs were 27″ and man was I strong. My face looked bloated but who cares when you make that kind of progress. I was thinking, “hell I will never come off this stuff!” All the big guys at the gym now looked at me differently. It was like being the new ape being accepted into the community of apes. I felt like Diane Fossey in Gorillas in the Mist.

Too Much of a Good Thing

I learned that it wasn’t good to stay on steroids constantly, You were supposed to cycle on and off these drugs. I had a rough time doing this to myself. I wouldn’t even use Motrin or aspirin, but now I was using anabolic steroids. Honestly, they made me feel invincible, somehow more alive. I kept thinking I would get back to the doc soon. Well I had to leave for college in early August for orientation and football camp at a D2 University. When I reported, the coaches were shocked at how much I had changed. I was surprised they noticed. I guess looking in the mirror everyday dulled my self perception. I was moving just as fast as I had 30 pounds lighter, but was leaps and bounds stronger. I earned my way onto the travel squad, quite an accomplishment for a true freshman. I wasn’t sure if anyone else took anabolic steroids, but I wasn’t going to tell a soul. It was my edge, my secret advantage. Oh how mistaken I was. I wasn’t the only one who used these. It was easier to count who didn’t use them. I was about to learn some shocking shit!

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