• What gives you social anxiety?

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    This topic contains 0 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  liorrh 5 months, 1 week ago.

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    • #694336

      liorrh
      Member

      mods, please move this to neuroscience

      #694338

      Anonymous

      Shouldn’t we have a rating for “no anxiety when doing this”?

      #694342

      liorrh
      Member

      yes, that’s 10 (i.e complete comfort) edited original post to highlight that. thanks

      #694367

      skigazzi
      Member

      Being in a crowd of strangers – 9

      asking a stranger for direction – 8

      being approached by a salesman, homeless etc – 9

      butting in on a conversation with random strangers – 8

      tell a deep secret about yourself to a stranger (something you are extremley ashamed of, and is also not funny in any way, let say kicking cats when you were young) – 5

      singing in public or public speaking – 6

      meeting your new GF/BF’s family or friends – 8 family 6 friends

      telling your GF whom you love there is something that really bothers you about her, and if she would not change that, you’d have to seperate(knowing that she might say fine let’s break up! sometime we make those threats knowing she won’t leave. not this time) 5

      dancing with your friends 6

      dancing in public(in the street) 4

      making eye contact with strangers for as long as possible 5

      trying to do some crazy dance moves you have no idea how to like salsa or breakdance, or playing a sport you know you suck in front of strangers 4

      telling something embarrassing to strangers 5

      approaching a woman you really want to be with(a stranger) 3

      talking to a new doctor/shrink/caretaker/policeman 4

      talking to your boss about a raise 4

      taking to someone you manage about him being fired for not being good enough 3

      approaching a woman you really want to be with(not a stranger, friend of friend) 3

      kissing a girl for the first time without her specifically saying she wants to be kissed 5

      undressing in public 8

      walk across a crowded bus and loudly tell some girl she is stunning. 0 (never done it…want to try!)

      #694371

      Anonymous

      [u]start[/u]

      Being in a crowd of strangers 10

      asking a stranger for direction 8

      being approached by a salesman, homeless etc 3

      butting in on a conversation with random strangers 5

      tell a deep secret about yourself to a stranger (something you are extremley ashamed of, and is also not funny in any way, let say kicking cats when you were young) 7

      singing in public or public speaking 5

      meeting your new GF/BF’s family or friends 9

      telling your GF whom you love there is something that really bothers you about her, and if she would not change that, you’d have to seperate(knowing that she might say fine let’s break up! sometime we make those threats knowing she won’t leave. not this time) 8

      dancing with your friends 8

      dancing in public(in the street)

      making eye contact with strangers for as long as possible 5

      trying to do some crazy dance moves you have no idea how to like salsa or breakdance, or playing a sport you know you suck in front of strangers 3

      telling something embarrassing to strangers 8

      approaching a woman you really want to be with(a stranger) 0

      talking to a new doctor/shrink/caretaker/policeman 7

      talking to your boss about a raise 3

      taking to someone you manage about him being fired for not being good enough. 4

      approaching a woman you really want to be with(not a stranger, friend of friend) 5

      kissing a girl for the first time without her specifically saying she wants to be kissed 2 – physically shake

      undressing in public 10

      walk across a crowded bus and loudly tell some girl she is stunning. 4

      [u]finish[/u]

      all of these seemed to be knocked down the number scale here by 2 when I’m in public with a woman I’m interested in. If I’m by myself, they jump up 3-4 numbers on the scale. Meaning that I believe my social anxiety to stem from being insecure in, around, or having the possibility of a relationship.

      #694403

      liorrh
      Member

      I’m shocked that you gave

      “tell a deep secret about yourself to a stranger (something you are extremely ashamed of, and is also not funny in any way, let say kicking cats when you were young) ” 6 or 7

      imagine sitting next to someone in a flight and telling him you were sexually abused, or that you sat in jail for armed robbery, or that you we’re pissing in your bed till age 12… that sort of stuff.

      don’t imagine the comfort. if you’ve never done it, its zero. just checking

      but its interesting to see everybody having different sticking points.

      I wat to add lost of data and get by average a scale of each of the points.

      #694404

      liorrh
      Member

      I’m shocked that you gave

      “tell a deep secret about yourself to a stranger (something you are extremely ashamed of, and is also not funny in any way, let say kicking cats when you were young) ” 6 or 7

      imagine sitting next to someone in a flight and telling him you were sexually abused, or that you sat in jail for armed robbery, or that you we’re pissing in your bed till age 12… that sort of stuff.

      don’t imagine the comfort. if you’ve never done it, its zero. just checking

      but its interesting to see everybody having different sticking points.

      I wat to add lost of data and get by average a scale of each of the points.

      #694405

      liorrh
      Member

      I’m shocked that you gave

      “tell a deep secret about yourself to a stranger (something you are extremely ashamed of, and is also not funny in any way, let say kicking cats when you were young) ” 6 or 7

      imagine sitting next to someone in a flight and telling him you were sexually abused, or that you sat in jail for armed robbery, or that you we’re pissing in your bed till age 12… that sort of stuff.

      don’t imagine the comfort. if you’ve never done it, its zero. just checking

      but its interesting to see everybody having different sticking points.

      I wat to add lost of data and get by average a scale of each of the points.

      #694415

      Anonymous

      I’m shocked that you gave

      “tell a deep secret about yourself to a stranger (something you are extremely ashamed of, and is also not funny in any way, let say kicking cats when you were young) ” 6 or 7

      imagine sitting next to someone in a flight and telling him you were sexually abused, or that you sat in jail for armed robbery, or that you we’re pissing in your bed till age 12… that sort of stuff.

      don’t imagine the comfort. if you’ve never done it, its zero. just checking

      but its interesting to see everybody having different sticking points.

      I wat to add lost of data and get by average a scale of each of the points.

      Why does it matter with a stranger though? Who are they? Especially in a situation where you’re on a plane. You are more likely to never see that person again in your whole life. Telling them a very personal would be inconsequential. I find that I can generally tell a stranger anything with greater ease than someone who is a casual aquaintance. Of coarse I’m a pretty open book as it is.

      I would precieve my anxiety relating to actually making contact with a new person rather than finding things to say there after.

      #694416

      Anonymous

      I’m shocked that you gave

      “tell a deep secret about yourself to a stranger (something you are extremely ashamed of, and is also not funny in any way, let say kicking cats when you were young) ” 6 or 7

      imagine sitting next to someone in a flight and telling him you were sexually abused, or that you sat in jail for armed robbery, or that you we’re pissing in your bed till age 12… that sort of stuff.

      don’t imagine the comfort. if you’ve never done it, its zero. just checking

      but its interesting to see everybody having different sticking points.

      I wat to add lost of data and get by average a scale of each of the points.

      Why does it matter with a stranger though? Who are they? Especially in a situation where you’re on a plane. You are more likely to never see that person again in your whole life. Telling them a very personal would be inconsequential. I find that I can generally tell a stranger anything with greater ease than someone who is a casual aquaintance. Of coarse I’m a pretty open book as it is.

      I would precieve my anxiety relating to actually making contact with a new person rather than finding things to say there after.

      #694417

      Anonymous

      I’m shocked that you gave

      “tell a deep secret about yourself to a stranger (something you are extremely ashamed of, and is also not funny in any way, let say kicking cats when you were young) ” 6 or 7

      imagine sitting next to someone in a flight and telling him you were sexually abused, or that you sat in jail for armed robbery, or that you we’re pissing in your bed till age 12… that sort of stuff.

      don’t imagine the comfort. if you’ve never done it, its zero. just checking

      but its interesting to see everybody having different sticking points.

      I wat to add lost of data and get by average a scale of each of the points.

      Why does it matter with a stranger though? Who are they? Especially in a situation where you’re on a plane. You are more likely to never see that person again in your whole life. Telling them a very personal would be inconsequential. I find that I can generally tell a stranger anything with greater ease than someone who is a casual aquaintance. Of coarse I’m a pretty open book as it is.

      I would precieve my anxiety relating to actually making contact with a new person rather than finding things to say there after.

      #694430

      liorrh
      Member

      so did what I describe happened to you or not? if I were to tell you to go do it right now(find a stranger in the street and tell him a dark secret, would you do it)?

      (Strictly imaginative)

      “Hi. I’m Jake. Although I look like a strong confident man, I shit in my pants when approaching women. I’m not sure why, but the fact that I was a total loser in high school and lied my way through life may explain some things.”

      #694431

      liorrh
      Member

      so did what I describe happened to you or not? if I were to tell you to go do it right now(find a stranger in the street and tell him a dark secret, would you do it)?

      (Strictly imaginative)

      “Hi. I’m Jake. Although I look like a strong confident man, I shit in my pants when approaching women. I’m not sure why, but the fact that I was a total loser in high school and lied my way through life may explain some things.”

      #694432

      liorrh
      Member

      so did what I describe happened to you or not? if I were to tell you to go do it right now(find a stranger in the street and tell him a dark secret, would you do it)?

      (Strictly imaginative)

      “Hi. I’m Jake. Although I look like a strong confident man, I shit in my pants when approaching women. I’m not sure why, but the fact that I was a total loser in high school and lied my way through life may explain some things.”

      #694451

      Anonymous

      so did what I describe happened to you or not? if I were to tell you to go do it right now(find a stranger in the street and tell him a dark secret, would you do it)?

      (Strictly imaginative)

      “Hi. I’m Jake. Although I look like a strong confident man, I shit in my pants when approaching women. I’m not sure why, but the fact that I was a total loser in high school and lied my way through life may explain some things.”

      Those are two different situations. The approaching part of the equation would be the hard part. Once contact was made saying something like the above wouldn’t be at all difficult.

      #694452

      Anonymous

      so did what I describe happened to you or not? if I were to tell you to go do it right now(find a stranger in the street and tell him a dark secret, would you do it)?

      (Strictly imaginative)

      “Hi. I’m Jake. Although I look like a strong confident man, I shit in my pants when approaching women. I’m not sure why, but the fact that I was a total loser in high school and lied my way through life may explain some things.”

      Those are two different situations. The approaching part of the equation would be the hard part. Once contact was made saying something like the above wouldn’t be at all difficult.

      #694495

      Anonymous

      I’m very surprised liorrh gave this rating:

      “taking to someone you manage about him being fired for not being good enough. 8″

      This tells me you have never done it. It’s very stressful for the person doing the firing as well as the one being fired. It may look easy on tv or even fun. When you actually have to do it, you wish you didn’t have to. You are hurting the other person and you know it. No matter how much they may have deserved firing, it’s a tough job and most managers hate it.

      #694496

      Anonymous

      I’m very surprised liorrh gave this rating:

      “taking to someone you manage about him being fired for not being good enough. 8″

      This tells me you have never done it. It’s very stressful for the person doing the firing as well as the one being fired. It may look easy on tv or even fun. When you actually have to do it, you wish you didn’t have to. You are hurting the other person and you know it. No matter how much they may have deserved firing, it’s a tough job and most managers hate it.

      #694497

      Anonymous

      I’m very surprised liorrh gave this rating:

      “taking to someone you manage about him being fired for not being good enough. 8″

      This tells me you have never done it. It’s very stressful for the person doing the firing as well as the one being fired. It may look easy on tv or even fun. When you actually have to do it, you wish you didn’t have to. You are hurting the other person and you know it. No matter how much they may have deserved firing, it’s a tough job and most managers hate it.

      #694616

      liorrh
      Member

      Jake: sorry if I was misunderstood but this is not about foretasted anxiety but about actual stuff you’ve been through. again, have you been through something like that? no logical what ifs

      Maxhealth – if i rated it anything else than a 0, than I did it.

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